We all have our demons. It’s hard to share the things that scare us, that make us feel the most insecure – but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and do things that you find scary in order to grow. Just like swimming the Chesapeake Bay was a physically scary challenge for me, and one that completely transformed my sense of self, I am publishing this series to bare a personal demon, to face a fear, and hopefully become stronger and more “balanced” as a result.
Triathlon and control. In part one of this series I touched on how triathlon and the triathlon lifestyle is well suited to people who like to be in control of their lives. And how a focus on controlling one’s weight is something that scares me…
Thoughts on MY weight
I have always been a pretty slim person – even though I have not been a sporty person. I distinctly remember not being able to give blood in high school when all my friends were – because I didn’t weigh 100 pounds. Breaking that 100 pound barrier was a milestone for me – it was my junior year of high school.
Weight on 1 September 1988 (my first day at University): ~48kg (~105 pounds)
Before getting into triathlon I never focused on my weight in terms of “weight loss”. Well, never is probably too strong of a word… I never *worried* about my weight, I never sought to *control* my weight, and I only occasionally dabbled in fads. When I did dabble in the “diet” world it was all about vanity.
In 2000 before I got married I decided, as many “soon-to-be-brides” do, that I needed to get fit and get in shape before walking down the aisle. I knew about the “no carb” diets from seeing my father do the Atkins diet to lose a lot of weight. And my best friend told me about the Montignac Method, which was focused on eating a low-GI diet. I didn’t really think much about nutrition at the time, but I came up with some simple “rules” and ways to “control my eating”. Things like “no carbs after breakfast” and “no bread”.
Weight on 17 June 2000: 58.6kg (129 pounds)
Lowest weight in 2000: 55.5kg (122 pounds)
In 2007 when I decided to do my first triathlon I went to the GP to make sure that I was medically able to do a triathlon. I wanted to make sure that I was not going to harm myself as I have a progressive degenerative nerve disease CMT, and I wanted to make sure that I would not damage myself with my efforts to get into shape.
Weight in 2007: 67kg (147.3 pounds)
I ambled along, finishing my first sprint triathlon in 2007 and along with that milestone I started to understand how to exercise with structure and with a plan. I began the process of building a support network. But triathlon was a seasonal thing for me. I started training in May, I did my race in August, and then I relaxed for the rest of the year, starting the cycle again in May 2008.
By late 2008 I knew that this seasonal approach to fitness was not going to work for me. I was having trouble getting up the stairs in my house. I felt constantly lethargic. I feared that decline from my progressive degenerative nerve disease was starting. I knew that I needed to get healthy and fit and strong to stay healthy and fit and strong.
AND in late 2008 I went through a particularly stressful period of time. As my stress peaked – I gained weight, I was constantly tired, I was deeply anxious and unhappy.
In April 2009 – when I started to think about seasonal triathlon training – I knew something had to change. No longer could triathlon be a May to August thing for me. I decided that I needed to “TAKE CONTROL” of my life and turn healthy living into a year-round lifestyle. And with that decision I jumped on the scale and into the triathlon lifestyle.
Highest weight ever in 2009: 71.5kg (157.3 pounds)
The scales were the evidence I needed – they showed me what I knew was true. I was well and truly on a path to becoming unhealthy. My decision to “TAKE CONTROL” was at just the right time, before I could slide into a permanent place of unhappiness, a place where I would be living an unwell life full of physical decline.
(to be continued on 28 February 2013)